I LAY MY LOVE ON YOU;

{Saturday, November 18, 2006}
LA LIGAAAAAAA (:

okay, so maybe THINGS are getting better
and yah
but aiyuh. aiyuh aiyuh
whats up with me man :O

and why is PEOPLE so WRONG omg.
wrong wrong
everything is WRONG.
im wrong! :O

i mean, whats up with me getting hooked onto RUNESCAPE :O

OMG LAH LIVERPOOL BETTER WIN THEIR MATCH TONIGHT ):
pretty please.
i dont even care if its PENNANT who scores.
just win it stupid ):

trng aint that bad lah huh
but whats up with her man.
whats up with HIM :O
omg, he's getting fat. fat FAT FATTY BOMBOM :O

i should stop the :O
yes, i should :/

i like sleeping with persons
:D
now i know why my english is so bad :O
i like sleeping with PERSON (:
YAY :D

im so wrong

someone run a car over me.

[[10:21 PM;

{Friday, November 17, 2006}

hah, im hooked onto runescape
i feel like a 11year old kid again! (:
yay

okay, so anyway
tying gadgets are fun yay yay
fun yay yay

right

and trng was fun too
no seriously, it was (:
i love finding sequins.
okay, however you spell it.
BUT IT WAS FUN HOHOHO (: and we found so many. :D

my hand is pain okay.
PAIN okay ):
and trng tomm is mad
mad i tell myself
mad

IM DRIVEN MAD :O

man i miss everyone
and i miss bball
EURGH

[[11:21 PM;

{Thursday, November 16, 2006}
im going to play runescape

i really dont want to do this anymore
its really crap i mean this whole thing was just a mistake
every little single thing in my life is a mistake.

jacq says i have to make them right.
and i really want to.
but how.

aiyuh, so everything is my fault lah
okay, happy everyone happy.
and she also blame me blame until very happy.
shes infact.

but you know something that cheers me up?
i dont care!

even if i appear to care.

and i dont care how lame runescape is
im going to play it.
and EH, it beats climbing ladders and killing mushrooms :O

remind me to spend 30 mins to think of what i want to do today
as i have 1440 minutes a day. ;D

[[11:54 AM;

wow, thanks wenda. -.-

1) single, taken, crushing ?
HOHOHO, IM TAKEN. guess by who? :D

2) are you happy with your life now?
not happy also must be happy what. anyway, tessa will drag/carry/tow me away from depression ;D

3) When you meet the right person, do you fall in love fast?
why must fall in love with the right person. WHY CANNOT LEFT PERSON!

4) Have you ever been heartbroken?
hello, -looks at samantha. hahah (:

5) Do you believe tt there are some circumstances where cheating love is acceptable?
what the heck, you cheat and you still want me to accept it!

6) Wld u ever take someone back if he/she cheats on u?
-glares hard. dont make me slap you. ;D

7) Ever tok abt marriage to someone else?
ya ya. to the dog right.

8) Do u want childen?
yeah, and i make sure theyre not like my brother. or else i'll throw them away

9) How many?
depend lah huh. if my salary one month only 5 bucks, how many children can i have man.

10) Would u ever consider adoption?
yeah, first thing on my mind. i mean THINK OF THE PAIN MAN. and why should the ladies be going through the pain, WHY NOT THE MALES. tsk

11) If someone likes you now, what do you tink is the best way for him/ her to let you know his/ her feelings?
tell lah! you expect me to read your mind? :O

12) Do you enjoy going into relationships?
one word, TROUBLESOME. sorry lah, but think about the time "wasted" looking into each others eyes and say: HEY I LOVE YOU.

13) Do you believe in love at first sight?
aye, yes. hohohohohohohohohohoho.

14) Do you believe you can change someone?
i cant even change myself please.

15) If you could married elsewhere, where would it be?
AHHAAHAH, SPAIN, AHAHAH GERMANY (:

16) Do you give in easily when you're fighting?
you wish lah. im almost the most stubborn girl in the whole wide world

17) Do you have feeling for someone right now?
I HAVE FEELINGS FOR EVERYONE. like hello, like also feeling? hate also feeling? :/

18)Have you ever wished that you could have someone but you messed it up?
how could i mess up when i've never met torres ):

19) Have u ever broken a heart?
if heart was so easily broken. the human population will be cut down by half.

20)If one day your best friend falls in love with the gal/ guy you are deeply in love with, what would you do?
i have good taste, so its natural. cause i will like a very good looking person, and naturally, others will think he/she is good looking! :D

21) Are you missing anyone right now?
YES, OMG. ):

22) Now you have to ask 5 of your friends to do this survey in their blogs.. write their names below...
dont be lame, you want to do, you do.

okay, i know i wrote crap hahah (:

[[11:33 AM;

{Tuesday, November 14, 2006}
complications in a toilet (:

OMG. im actually here
infront of the comp, at 915 pm.
FINALLY :O

aiyuh, liverpool lost again.
STILL WHAT HOPE TO GET EPL :O
-prays that they will get champions league
like hello no hope le loh.
and i'll like to ask the referee.
if that goal that crouch and bellamy shot was OFFSIDE and DISALLOWED.
why was arsenal's first/second goal allowed? ):
-whines
so totally unfair okay
and that kuyt & zenden wasted so much chances okay
and pennant STILL sucks :/
sucks sucky sucks.

it still makes me wonder why i like liverpools so much, i mean, it aint the best club around :O

NO WAIT, IT IS (:
hohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohohoho
-goes on hoho-ing

okay, so anyway
life is this way, and so is swmg
i heck care already
aiyuh, i mean who is like me loh
mess up on that day, and it has to be that day.
~~fine, you happy, everything's my fault ):~~

sometimes i stop and think
(no wait, i think alot actually, not just some times)
and i really wonder, what im doing.
is it worth it.

and i have no answer what so ever. sucker.

maybe shes right, maybe all i need is a boyfriend ahah (:
and i wonder which guy will be the one that tells me to drink water :O

fine, ask me to go away fine
i see i go half the globe away you happy anot ):
you heartbreaker ):
now you happy loh happy fine ):
you broke my heart loh, and now youre happy.

~~all i wanted to do was to help okay~~
but it seems that you didnt need any help.

it was supposed to be a happy post okay.
and now im so upset im going to burst out in tears anytime.

[[9:08 PM;

{Saturday, November 11, 2006}

aiyoh.
according to natalie i have like 34 husbands 2 boyfriend and 2 brothers and like SO MANY sisters.
all from a single 8days magazine. :O

and now i have like 2 wives, 1 mistress, 1 daughter & still have quadriplets :O
hahaha
i think my life ultra cute (:

SAMANTHA CHEN YOU UNFAITHFUL PERSON.
dont think i dont know uhemuhem and your relationship
you naughty girl

aye, i tell you i shant even bother to type this in small letters okay damnit. you bitch lah, you think i dont know what youve been doing. cummon lah, im 14 loh, not 11. i mean like please loh, dont come and PLAY PUNK with me loh (hey shirley haha!) whats your problem lah, you want to fight then come and say lah. dont run off to your boyfriend and ask your boyfriend's gang to come and stare at me when im walking on the streets loh. i know im attractive right, but also no need to stare? weirdo.

MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 12345 ; samantha GOLD says:
WTH
HOHAHE says:
okay lah, what the hell me
HOHAHE says:
):
HOHAHE says:
-hurt
HOHAHE says:
-runs off to my mistress
MISSION IMPOSSIBLE 12345 ; samantha GOLD says:
FINE LOR

hey my wonderful get/lotus, WHERE ARE YOU, MY FAIR LADY (:

and i know my unfaithful wife will run off to her real husband LOHLOHLOH
and play with their children ):
and abandon our wonderful quadruplet & DAUGHTER? :O

[[11:01 AM;

{Thursday, November 09, 2006}

class chalet was fun & fun & more fun lah haha (:
the cards games! (:
WOAH BUT IT SURE CAUSED ME WEARINESS.
ultra fun (: and attempts to be 11 again (:
and well, the cost is FLAT BATT. (:
still trying desperately to charge my phone can
AND I SWEAR GETS IS A VERYVERYVERY PRETTY LADY
and i cannot stand it. haha (:

I ALSO CANNOT ACCEPT THE FACT THAT ESCAPE WAS CLOSED OKAY.
like hello, DO YOU SEE DISNEYLAND CLOSING.
im sorry, im sure ive said it like 9876543210 times, but i have to say it again.
but cycling was fun, and so was holding gets & regina (:
and so was the photos & the card games (:

im glad to say im smiling again.
im glad to say im laughing again.
even if i dont care about how fast i swim or even that im the last.
even if im the only one thats messing up the routine and she picks on me and i cant do anything else. i might dont care
but i shall not smile & laugh anymore cause its me, and i shant attempt to be someone else.

and i really want to thank alot of people who really helped and attempted to make me happier (:
{ samantha tek jacq jeanice lion FF/F charlyne siyun peiwen shirley rachelteo tessa racheltan natasha priscilla stephanie rebecca natalie }
i may have left out some of youre but all i really want to say is thank you (:

i mean like w/o tessa's msn convers & attempts to stop me crying, i'll still be the weakling.
w/o natasha trying to say shes worse and that i'll get better, i would still be dying out there. thinking that damnit, im the slowest.
w/o stephanie & rebecca looking at me, showing thumbs up, cheering me on, you can imagine what will happen.
w/o jacq & tek & jeanice & jon & lion's talking, hah, i wont even go onto the field again.
w/o samantha & priscilla. AIYUH, DONT EVEN WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

and it really means alot to me what all of you have done for me. even if its just a simply sentence that says like hey, are you okay.
i really thank you ((:

and i really want macs.

i just realised that the blue in the previous post is the same as the background. hahah (:

maybe all i need now is to return to the time when i still played neopets & runescape

[[1:09 PM;

{Monday, November 06, 2006}

NOW IM LIKE CANNOT STOP LAUGHING AT ALL? :D
hahahaha its freaking funny okay omg.
even if its for time being

omg, this is the best okay. the best i say.
from megan's blog ahahh (:

omg, and the first part of this is like OMG. DAMN FUNNY PLEASE.

and what the hell lah this haha (:
the key omg. and the other guy is like so ugly please haha
AND ITS IN SPANISH (: i recognise the TE AMO! (:

hahah, they can be in choir man (:

omg, so funny. tell me you laughed.

look, i know youre put in effort. i know it, and im glad i succeeded in making you smile again. but im convinced that the old me is gone, the old me has died away. give up, i mean just look at me during trng, do you think i'll smile. i mean its just very different for me you know. its just so hard for me, not only phsically, but mentally, im gone. its not that problem of a physical thing you know. its just mentally its just me and im just gone. and i swear, im not angry, im honest. and i mean youre should stop wasting time. im just a damn irritating girl that wont cooperate. yes. so give it up. even if i stay, it aint going to work out.

oh heck, whos going to read that anyway
noone

its 142 and im supposed to rest before trng
but all i truely need is macs w boo porc ):

[[1:01 PM;

oh change blogskin again.
but peiwen says she prefers the previous one.
oh great ):
and dont ask me why i choose blue, i guess its just easier to match
and now my blog is so blue-y.
:O

now all the birthdays, the links all in another blog.
and im still trying to figure out why theres still so many popups. :/
i think even my other blogs are nicer :O

but heck lah
not like i care anymore

aye, stop asking me to be the old me.
the old me has VANISHED okay.

and i still dont know whats the problem with my mother's mother.
no wonder my mother is this way
did i mention just HOW MUCH i hate that ms loh.
damnit

aye, now i happy.
routine ive like joined the clan of messing up.
AND SHE JUST KEEP ASKING ME WHETHER I STILL WANT TO DO TEAM.
you know what i want to say
dont want lah
I DONT WANT TO SHANG, I CANNOT SHANG, I WILL NOT SHANG.
now she happy.
what the fuck okay
i already told her i cannot already lah, which part of the sentence does she not understand damnit.

im looking forward to class chalet so much i dont even want to go for todays trng okay.
like 3-9.
she happy.
nevermind, i also happy.
~~ya loh, and with them somemore loh, happy. nevermind, everyones happy.~~

people talk like ive never cared about anything since born
but the fact remains that i cared
i just learnt that its not worth it to care anymore.
and i'll just be the weakling that keeps getting people worried cause i keep crying
happy.

i promise i'll wear goggles the next time i do so.

[[11:21 AM;

{Sunday, November 05, 2006}

aye, liverpool won
man u won (:
and althought kuyt scored both the goals
crouch was very much involved in the two goals (:
oh yay.

okay heck.
trng again today.
and my knee is feeling numb.
maybe it knows its fate today.
hohoho :O

someone told me not to give up hope
and im trying to listen.
but is there even hope left?
or is it even worth it

[[1:47 PM;

{Saturday, November 04, 2006}
LOOK. I DONT CARE OKAY.

im a complete loser.

i mean like hello lah
everywhere is hurting okay.
from my hair to my eye to my wrist to my head to my ear to my nails.
okay, i see you get the point.
even my heart is pain okay.
and my PRIDE is pain okay.

okay.

im the slowest, the weakest, the least flexible, the least strong, the most black face, the most pathetic, etc.
so happy loh me.
then coach abit look at me like she dont know me lah.
happy.
i dont know her anyway.
so yes, as i was saying, a complete loser i am.

and coach ultra exciting.
i think she abit pity me, cause too lousy cannot compare with sam&pris&rebecca&steph so she put me in the second group lah
but i abit still cannot lah.
so happy.

i think susie also ultra exciting, say well done to me, but abit never care about cca points.
she happy.
nevermind, i also happy.
and she touch me lah.
~~maybe i become heshe also.~~

and look lah, i dont blame you for not coming st nicks lah.
st nicks also not say very good.
lousy lah
neighbourhood school lah, cause got me.
so im not angry with you.
dont worry.
you are not affecting me at all

okay, im sorry for the previous par to people in stnicks lah
i know youre are great in it okay (:
its just me pulling the standards down.

trng aftn & night also nevermind de.
cannot die anymore anyway what.
best lah
trng 24 hrs.
people say a day has 25hrs what. can sleep for that one hour.

people also say not to cry over spilt milk and i agree (but i say: who hasnt man)
but what if the milk is drank up by another person.
do you cry?
i wonder.

yes, the whole point of this post is to say.
I DONT CARE ALREADY.
okay, i dont give a damn, i dont care.
i dont care how much i hurt ~~how much i cry~~
i dont give a damn about anything already.
i dont even care if i make it into the stream i chose, i dont care if i have like 29 points for olevels, i dont care what i become in the future.
it can be the greatest coach in the world, it can be the best well known toilet cleaner in the world, or it can be a pathetic roadsweeper i dont care. okay. i dont care
i dont care whether i lose to other people i dont care if in the future i cant even walk.
i dont care if im going to macau i dont care if im going disneyland.
nothing matters anymore.

i cant even smile anymore okay.
people ask me if im okay and i say no okay.

im not going to laugh anymore
im not going to smile anymore
im not going to play anymore
im not going to swim anymore
im not going to think anymore
im not going to even make an effort anymore

i mean like whats the fucking use okay.
life's just a joke.
a big fat joke.

i gave up trying to find the hero in me. cause i simply see the truth that theres simply no hero in me

[[9:26 PM;

aye, messed up everything.
from the moment i touched the water.
to the moment we finish it.
happy.
i happy.

you know i feel like a complete loser with a loser attitude.
nothings turning out right lah

like some ~~idiotic heshe~~ refuse to take points for my syncro.
like someone refuse to come stnicks.
happy.

i cannot le lah.
then later still have trng.
then my team routine keep counting wrongly.
then coach will be so frustrated.
happy.

you know what.
whats the point of staying in the pool, wasting a whole lot of time when i can STUDY HARD & do cip & ~~be great in cca~~ so that i can minus points from OLEVELS
cummon lah, its just a waste of time please.
soaking in the pool especting to go to NATIONAL LEVEL. so that susanlim can count the points.
i can wait 20 years okay, and i wont even reach national level.
damnit.

i mean, cant they be glad that im ~~wasting~~spending time on some sport that i ~~hate~~dont like. like hello they think i dont want to study is it!
damnit.

damnit lah
im damn pissed okay.
like whats their problem
and her problem
and her problem
and their problem
and his problem
and her problem
and MY problem

im just being a freaking loser lah.
happy.

[[3:12 PM;

{Thursday, November 02, 2006}
its a long road, and you face the world alone

And then a hero comes along
With the strength to carry on
And you cast your fears aside
And you know you can survive
So when you feel like hope is gone
Look inside you and be strong
And youll finally see the truth
That a hero lies in you

until i see the truth and until i find that hero, i'll be in that hole in the ground hiding from shame if you'll need to find me alright ;D

liverpool rocks okay (: like alot alot alot now.
now that that marvellous coach of theirs realised that the star strikers pair is kuyt & crouch
now that gerrard has scored :D

and now i just simply hate chelsea alot okay.
i mean drogba can fould like 14 times, and i probably missed out some.
and he can dive like so many times i lost count.
HERO LAH HE.
then that damn coach of them, LIKE WHATS WRONG WITH HIM.
all that is making me like chelsea is terry and lampard.
I MEAN DID YOU SEE THAT WONDER GOAL OF LAMPARD OMG.
almost as good as alonso's LONGLONG goal okay :D

i like barca more and more and i dont know why
hah (: i think messi is DAMN good, and at least twice as good as that lrooney.

once upon a time i thought he was ugly. but now he's just a little cute lil boy :D
and look at the way he smiles with pure joy :D
OH AND I THINK DECO IS REALLY CUTE HOHOHO.
as in cute the cute? haha :D

hohoho, see? okay, maybe the picture is a little too small :/

you know my mother went to church and found out that liverpool won 3-0 then she smsed me (i missed that match) and i SQUEALED IN DELIGHT okay :D
hah, and my mother's mother COMPLAINED, ~~and said i was being a pain in the neck~~ :/

oh but man u lost. aye, BUT WHO CARES.
OH MY LOVELY IT PROVES THAT CROUCH & KUYT (see, i no longer dont like kuyt (: ) ARE NEEDED FOR LIVERPOOL
and my gerrard of liverpool aint going to quit! HOHOHO.
but i read the papers and i was very disappointed with risse.
aye, heck, i dont like the way he looks ANYWAY (:

today is quite a lovely day really.
my best in like a month (:
i mean, theres like no swmg okay NO SWMG OKAY.
so unbelievable hohoho :D
so i went down to the field and HOLA (:
had a blast of my life :D
it really surprises me that everyone still actually wants me back and still welcomes me back :D
and it surprises me how i forgot how grass actually feels :D
even though it was tiring, even though it probably left my injuries worse, there was joy, there was laughter, there was team spirit (:
thanks tek & jacq for running AGAIN with me :D im sorry im just so slow now ):
i know im really pulling the whole team down, but for the first time, i dont feel that bad, and its thanks to you guys :D
lunch celebration was superb :D
HOHOHO, IM IN LOVE PIZZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA :D
hahah
forget me, train it for a man down.
♥ FF/F :D

aiyuh, im just a joke.
i mean, what am i please.
a swimmer that cannot swim
what a joke.

im having a terrible headache again.
i think my head is going to crack soon. :O

oh i love the carpenter's songs.
i think they rock
even though its ultra ultra old ;D

aiyuh, i love uefa & epl & football lah hohoho :D

okay, tomm's another nightmare.
like hello? DRILLS? i thought it was orientation prep okay damnit.
well, at least its in PT kit.
and im telling everyone, I DONT WANT TO EXTEND MY TRIP IN HK TO GO TO MACAU TO TRAIN OMG.
like HELLO whats HIS problem okay.
MACAU TO TRAIN.

oh yeah, did i mention how i'd love it if my brother would just stop bitching

[[6:06 PM;

{Wednesday, November 01, 2006}

honestly, why do i have a half brother thats such a bitch that he bitches about me, right in front of me.

is he a guy or a girl. gosh

[[12:33 PM;

TAG REPLIES.

tek! ;
look, i know im being just a mess here, messing everything up, not even touching a football in a month. and i know how impt the RC is to youre as to me. its not that easy to cheer up and im so messed up now. its pretty hard for me to keep up with everything now, and im sorry i missed so much trng okay. maybe it aint a good idea for me to play. honestly, i should just forget it, drop out.

sylvia! ;
hey you lame shit c3 is one of my choices but i dont think i'll get in so :/ but i know you smarty will get in! :D

you know how i hate the way i can be in a terrible mood, being all moody and all, but i see people and i automatically smile and laugh like nothings bothering me at all.
and forget all my moodyness
then after that all the bad stuff will flow back and i'll be miserable alone.
i hate it honestly.
its like im having a terrible headache, feeling all horrible and terrible
then i can still smile and laugh
then i go home see my mother's mother talking to herself and scolding me cause i contiminated her darling grandson and i get all miserable again.

oh happy.

im so queer im queer beyond the utmost standard of queerness.

oh, and i hate the way im such a jerk and all.
it irritates me, someone tell me how to stop.

maths was shit, i dont understand anything and im becoming more and more stupid, im beyond help.
honestly, its like there porlin is, rattling on about how to find a damn area of circle and there i am trying to find an area of a SQUARE. happy, i happy.
fine lah, so maths also cannot already, then study what shit
DROP OUT LAH.

i should just go to AIS and find a nice angmo and just marry him.
damn

aiyuh, im so frustrated now, and later im going to smile and laugh.
oh yay. i so totally rock

[[12:01 PM;